Hercules
by StarKid McFly
Summary: When a project is set in Care of Magical Creatures and Scorpius and Albus are partnered, they find that parenting a bowtruckle might just bring them closer together. Not slash.
1. Of Parents and Partnerships

**I wrote this ages ago because watching the BAFTAs and JK making a lovely speech really made me feel all bubbly and warm inside. I feel sad already that the Saga is almost completely over.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

"Today's assignment will be an ongoing task," Professor Nettle informed the class as she twirled her wand in her pale hands. "You will form a partnership, and in this pair, will work hard to raise one of these." She gestured to a tray, in which sat something that resembled a twig. "Baby Bowtruckles," she explained. "We rescued the nest when some... joker," her eyes flashed briefly to where Albus stood, and he knew immediately that it had been James who had done this crime, "set fire to the tree it was settled in. Unfortunately, the parent Bowtruckle is nowhere to be found. We believe it was a victim." She picked up one of the trays and reached in, grabbing the twig. At once, it made a growling noise, which made Sandy Brown, one of the popular girls in Slytherin, squeal. Nettle ignored this and continued with her long monotonous explanation. "As you can see, they are already becoming fairly accustomed to humans, which means that we will have to keep them in captivity if they have a hope of survival. This means we must domesticate them, and this will be your task."

Automatically, Albus and Jem Jones, his best friend, moved away from the group as if to silently announce their partnership, but Nettle caught sight and called them back.

"_I_ will be partnering you together," she said, and at once the class groaned in synchronization.

She moved around the class selecting random people and placing them together. Jem was partnered with Rose, Albus's cousin, who looked less than thrilled at the prospect of having to work with the Welsh boy.

The group of leftovers grew smaller and smaller, and Albus was losing all hope of being partnered with someone he vaguely liked.

"Potter," Nettle said, calling him up when there were only eight people left. "You can partner... Malfoy."

Albus suppressed his groan. He turned to look at the blond boy, who looked thoroughly disgruntled.

"Well, don't just stand there," Nettle snapped. "Get to work!"

Scorpius rolled his grey eyes and glowered at her before grabbing the nearest tray up.

"Hey, wait a moment," Albus called over at Scorpius, who turned with a heavy look.

"Yes, Potter?"

"You didn't even check to see if the bloody thing had a head," snapped Albus, grabbing the tray from his hands. He checked the twig like thing over.

"Satisfied now, Potter?"

Albus glowered at Scorpius and thrust the tray roughly at him. "Go find a bench. I need to talk to Jem."

Unfortunately for him, Nettle had happened to pass them at that particular moment.

"Five points from Gryffindor for disrespect to a classmate. If I see you speak to Jones, I will have you in detention." She turned and walked away, leaving Albus to pull a face at her back.

"Old hag," he grumbled in a voice he thought only he could hear. Scorpius grunted as if trying to stifle laughter. Albus turned to frown at him.

"I suppose we'd better name the damn twig," Scorpius said hastily, Albus still staring at him oddly. "I mean, if we're supposed to domesticate it, then we'd better give it some respect."

"Names?" Albus said bluntly.

"My family have a tradition," continued Scorpius. "Each child is named after a star or galaxy or constellation, if you get my drift. I vote we name it something like 'Hydra'."

"And my family have a tradition of naming their children after respectable people," said Albus coolly.

"We could compromise," Scorpius suggested.

"No," Albus said flatly. "I refuse to compromise."

"Why?" Scorpius asked with a sneaking smile. "I thought respectable people compromised all the time."

"Stop playing all your voodoo mind shit on me, Malfoy," snapped Albus with a glare. "Everyone knows your family's shit at Astronomy. Sirius told my Dad."

"Sirius?" Scorpius's face flickered in amusement. "My father's fugitive cousin?"

"I can hardly imagine that it's a very popular name," Albus said. "Bordering child abuse, in fact."

Scorpius smirked. "And is he deemed respectable by your family?"

"Yes, but my brother's named after him," Albus said slowly. "So don't try and steal it."

"Well, let's try this another way," Scorpius said with a smile. "What traits would you like to see in our child?"

"What the hell, Malfoy?"

"Well, what would you like your child to grow into? A figure of strength? Intelligence?"

"A Gryffindor."

"Ravenclaw," Scorpius corrected quickly. At Albus's questioning glance, he grinned and said, "Compromise."

"So, a Ravenclaw," Albus said bitterly, "with strength, and black hair..."

"Chestnut brown," Scorpius solicited. "It's a mixture."

"Okay, a Ravenclaw with chestnut brown hair. Is he allowed to be strong or does he have to have a crutch to make you feel more comfortable?"

"Who says it's a he?"

"You are maddening."

"A Ravenclaw with chestnut brown hair. Strength is attributing, but we need them to be intelligent. I think the correct description would be canny."

"This is starting to sound more and more Slytherin-like."

"Ravenclaw," corrected Scorpius.

"I beg your pardon," snapped Albus. "Ravenclaw, my bad."

"Let's call it Hercules."

"Hercules the twig?" Albus snorted. "Well, there's something catchy about that."

"See, I'm not totally stupid, you know," grinned Scorpius. Albus shrugged.

"Maybe."

They failed to see Professor Nettle smiling in the background.

**This will be continued! :)**


	2. Of Bets and Bowtruckles

**It's been a very, very long while since I last updated, and I have many documents with the "start" of this chapter in it. So I settled for this one and started writing this chapter.**

**Sorry it's taken so long!**

**Can I just say a huge thank you to the lovely reviewers, Rainbow Dust, Scandalacious Intentions and Emerald Dragon77. Thanks guys! This is for you.**

**Disclaimer: I've got nothing. Can't you see me baby? Look into my eyes, see I'm acting crazy.**

"Well, it wasn't totally bad, was it?" Jem said with a smile.

"What do you mean?" asked Albus. "It was awful."

Jem grinned. "I saw you and Malfoy. Getting a little bit friendly, are we?"

"Shut up," Albus said, giving Jem a shove. "How's it going with Rose?"

"Ugh," groaned Jem dramatically. "She despises me. It's written in her eyes. She just wants to kill me."

Albus snorted. "She's not very friendly really."

"You're telling me."

"What's up, tossers?" a voice from behind them sounded, and arms were slung round their necks very quickly. Albus rolled his eyes and grinned, James had never been the most subtle person.

"Jim!" greeted Jem cheerfully. "Your cousin doesn't like me, y'know."

"Oh, she doesn't like me either," James shrugged with a smile. "And how are things up in the valleys, Jeremy?" He did a very good mimic of Jem's Welsh accent. Jem grinned at this.

"You can't talk, Jim, you're a bloody ginger."

"I'm offended," gasped James. "And how's my little brother?" He squeezed Albus's cheeks, who pushed him away.

"You're a prick, James Sirius."

James smiled. "What you talking about?"

It took Albus a moment to realise he was actually referring to their previous conversation, but Jem had already answered.

"We were talking about Nettle and her ridiculous notion of partnering us all up."

"How dreadful."

"We didn't get a choice," Albus added.

"Appalling."

"I'm with Rose Weasley," snapped Jem, causing James to laugh.

"Bad luck, mate," he said, clapping him on the back. "You never know though, you might fall madly in love."

"I highly doubt that," Jem replied scornfully.

James grinned. "And what about you?"

"Who, me?" Albus asked, looking up at his brother.

"No, the other person in this conversation," James said sarcastically. "Yes you, you clot. Who are you with?"

"Scorpius Malfoy," Albus replied, and James let out a low whistle.

"That _is_ bad luck," he commented, looking as close to sympathetic as was possible for James Potter. "Whatcha gonna do about it?"

"Nothing," Albus said flatly.

"They were actually getting on," Jem told James cheerfully.

"Oooh!"

"Shut up, James."

James laughed and took one last opportunity to ruffle his brother's hair. "Well, as much as I love these idle chit-chats I have some things to do. I'll see you around, bitches."

"Hmm," Albus mumbled as his brother left them. "You'd think he had no friends, wouldn't you?"

Jem laughed. "And yet he is three times more popular than you."

"He is _not_ three times more popular," snorted Albus. "He just attracts more enemies. It's not a good trait."

Jem grinned. "He's even got more enemies than you. Al, this isn't good."

* * *

><p>Lessons seemed to be passing at a horrifically slow rate. Jem had been caught asleep in more than one and Albus was certain that he had worked out the area of the room just by staring at the bricks.<p>

In History of Magic, what seemed to be the most painful subject, he had begun envisaging where each of his classmates would be in twelve years; for instance, Rose would probably be a Healer-in-charge in St Mungo's and Lizbet McKinnon would probably be a model or a close-to-the-edge singer with a band of adoring followers, and wouldn't Finley and Jessica have pretty children? This had soon ended when he had voiced this thought to Jem and his friend had pointed out exactly how girly this sounded.

The only entertaining lesson was surprisingly Care of Magical Creatures. Despite the fact that Albus was paired with _the_ arse of the century, he didn't care particularly. He was growing kind of fond of that little Bowtruckle and that was all that mattered.

"Winter's coming soon!" Professor Nettle announced in her loud clear voice one lesson, walking between the partners. "It'll be very cold."

"Do you reckon we should knit him a scarf?" whispered Scorpius. Al snorted.

"This means that the Bowtruckles will lose their leaves."

"He never grew any," Albus muttered. "I swear this kid is behind. Is it even a bleeding Bowtruckle and not a stick?"

As if to prove a point, Hercules rolled over.

"Well, that's improvement," Scorpius said with raised eyebrows. "He can hear stuff. Maybe we can teach him commands."

"What, like 'fetch'?" Albus whispered back, and Scorpius feigned a coughing fit to hide the chuckle.

"Quiet, boys," Professor Nettle admonished, though there was a small smile on her face. "Due to the plummeting temperatures, we'll have to hibernate them for winter. I want you all to get a box..."

"Huh?" Albus said, looking from Professor Nettle to Hercules.

"Put them in the box," Professor Nettle repeated. "It's a good way to hibernate things, keep them in a warm insulated box."

"I am not putting my child in a box," Albus whispered to Scorpius, who rolled his eyes.

"Just go get a box, Potter."

Albus raised his eyebrows. "Yes _sir_," he said sourly, before moving to the front to grab one of the cardboard structures. Jem was already there, fussing over the most battered he could find in an attempt to have a break from Rose.

"How's it going?" Albus asked him in an undertone.

"She's a freaking nightmare," Jem replied, looking at Albus with tired eyes. "She won't let me do anything but get stuff from the front, and she tells me off all the time."

Albus grinned. "She always was a bit like my Auntie."

"Have I ever met your Auntie?" Jem asked. Albus shook his head. Jem smiled. "Make sure I never do."

Albus grinned.

"Miss," Jessica Winters said, sticking a hand up, "What are we going to do for the rest of the term if they're stuck in a box?"

"It better not be coursework," muttered Jem darkly, looking up at Professor Nettle's wiry frame.

"We'll be building a nature enclosure some of the term," Nettle replied, pulling some thick gloves on as she talked. "Obviously, for the majority of it, we'll be getting to know some other creatures on the syllabus. You'll remain in your partnerships..." There was what seemed to be a unanimous groan across the class, to which Nettle only raised her voice and concluded, "...for the rest of the year."

There was an even louder groan.

"Settle down," Nettle snapped. "You will deal with this arrangement or I will have you serve detentions in these partnerships as well."

Jem banged his head against a nearby tree; unfortunately, angry Nettle saw this.

"Jones and Miss Weasley will demonstrate to you exactly what this punishment is like," she said with a glittering smile.

"My heart goes out to him," Albus muttered. "Rose'll rip him to pieces for that."

"She's not that bad, surely," Scorpius said with a frown.

Albus ruffled his black hair. "She's pretty bad. She gave my cousin Fred a black-eye once because he was reading her favourite book."

"That's savage," Scorpius said, eyes wide. "Bloody hell, that's a bit extreme."

"Well," Albus said, "To be fair to her, it was her diary."

"Oh."

"She had been writing about a boy she fancied in there."

"Ah."

"He did kind of taunt her about it."

"That's justifiable, then."

"Just a little."

Scorpius rubbed his hands together and stuffed some cotton wool into the bottom of their cardboard box. "Out of interest, who was this boy she was talking about?"

"Some guy from Hufflepuff," Albus replied. He frowned. "Why am I telling you this stuff?"

"Because my devilish good looks have influenced you to," Scorpius replied casually.

Albus snorted. "What devilish good looks?"

"These ones." He flicked his hair from his face dramatically. When Albus began to laugh he grinned. "Alright, so not devilish. But I'm still better looking than you."

"Oh?"

It was Scorpius's turn to laugh now. "You're very scrawny."

"Oh, thank you," Albus said coolly.

"And you haven't had a girlfriend since Suzie Westgate."

"That wasn't so long ago!" snapped Albus defensively.

"It was second year. This is fifth."

"Oh, shut your mouth."

"I propose we have a bet then," Scorpius said with a smile. "We'll ask a girl each who they think is more attractive. Ten galleons to the winner."

Albus narrowed his eyes. "You're on, with one additional rule. We get to pick who we ask." When there was no immediate reply, he smiled cruelly. "Compromise." He stuck a hand out.

Scorpius eyed the hand warily for a second, before shaking it. "Deal."

"So," Albus said, "Who goes first?"

Scorpius grinned. "You will."

"Who do you pick?" Albus asked, smile widening. "I know many a girl who falls for my eyes." He batted them in a manner that caused a very odd noise to emerge as Scorpius tried to stifle his laugh.

"Potter, Malfoy, do you want to join them in detention?" the stern voice of Professor Nettle sounded abruptly from very close behind them. Both boys flinched, before she moved away.

Albus grinned widely at his companion, and whispered, "Go on then."

Scorpius grinned, and jarred a thumb behind him.

Albus followed, and swore as his eyes met the red hair of Rose Weasley.

This guy was good.


	3. Of Ghosts and Girls

**So, you can thank Rainbow Dust for this update! She wanted me to update and made a bargain with me, and so I wrote for you guys :P Plus I had half a chapter already written, and was really excited about writing this fic again! :P **

**So, thank you very much, Rainbow Dust!**

**And thanks to all the lovely reviewers. I can't believe how nice you all are :D**

**Rocky**

**x**

"I can't physically stand him," Rose snapped, looking up from her book when Albus approached her in the library later, "So don't even try, Potter."

"Alright Weasley," Albus replied, raising his arms in synchronisation with his eyebrows and taking a seat next to her. "I actually wasn't coming to talk to you about Jem."

"What were you coming to talk to me about then?" He caught the suspicion in her voice without even looking at her narrowed brown eyes. "You don't often pay social visits."

"I was just going to ask you about Malfoy, actually."

"Oh?" Rose asked, dropping her gaze back to her book. "I don't really understand your thought process to lead you to the decision to ask me."

Albus ignored this. "Is he handsome?"

Rose blushed, looked up and glared. "What the hell, Albus?"

"Is he handsome? In your humble opinion."

"I really don't..."

"Is he handsome?" Albus repeated for the third time, slamming a hand on the table and earning himself a sharp hiss from the librarian, which he ignored.

"Why are you asking me?" Rose asked, and there was a sort of plea in her tone that he hadn't ever heard before. "Can't you ask Hugo or someone?"

"Hugo?" Albus snorted. "Why would he have an opinion?"

Rose rolled her eyes. "You are so _shallow_, Potter."

Albus, not understanding what she was on about, ignored this. "So? What's your opinion?"

"Of course he's handsome," Rose said, her cheeks darkening again. "He's bloody beautiful. Are you happy now?"

Albus put a huge smile on his face before letting it drop. "Am I handsome?"

"This is ridiculous."

Albus sighed and rolled his eyes. "Answer the bloody question."

"What the _hell_ is this about?"

Albus pulled the seat next to her from underneath the desk and sat in it, hard. "Come on, Rose," he said, lowering his tone when the librarian walked by again, glaring hard at him, "it's a simple question, and if you answer it I'll never bother you whilst you're reading ever again." He crossed his fingers.

Rose looked up at him, meeting his gaze. "Uncross them and promise again."

Albus didn't look away from her. "Uncross what?" he asked innocently. Rose continued to look at him. He sighed. "I promise I'll never bother you whilst you're reading ever again. Now answer the question."

"Are you handsome?" Rose repeated, wrinkling her nose.

"Answer seriously."  
>"Well," Rose said, "besides the fact you're my cousin, I <em>guess<em> you're _okay_-looking. Your hair's a bit of a mess, and seriously, that doesn't work for you like it does for some people."

"It works for me!" Albus said indignantly.

"It works better for James," replied Rose with a shrug. "Anyway, your eyes are quite cute. They work better for you than Uncle Harry."

"Is that a compliment?" Albus asked, a sour expression on his face. "I'm slightly more attractive than my father? Cheers Rose."

"I didn't say you were more attractive," Rose said, but he could tell she was winding him up. "Anyway, is that good enough for you?"

"What, that I'm okay-looking?"

"Yes." She closed the book and stood to go and slot it back in the shelves, before grabbing her bag and slinging it over her shoulder.

Albus followed her, falling into step as they walked out into the corridor. "Who's better looking, me or Scorpius?"

"You said you weren't going to bother me ever again," Rose snapped, picking up her pace a little in an attempt to get away from him.

"I said whilst you were reading," corrected Albus, striding next to her. "So, who's more attractive?"

"If I say you will you leave me alone?"

"No. Answer honestly." He paused a second. "And I'll need it in writing."

Rose stopped suddenly; Albus had to walk back a few paces to level up with her. "Why?" she asked, suspicion evident. "What are you up to, Albus Severus Potter?"

_The middle name's out_. "Nothing," he slurred, adopting the innocent tone again.

"Hmm," Rose said, pursing her lips in such an Auntie Hermione-ish way that Albus recoiled slightly.

"Can you answer my question then, Rose?"

Rose looked at him, before setting herself down on the carpet in the middle of the hallway and digging a hand into her bag.

"Don't make me regret this," she muttered, before fishing out a notepad and a biro. Rose always carried extra writing provisions for her own personal musings and words. Flicking to a clean page, she began to scrawl words down, leaving Albus to stand, feeling slightly awkward as he waited for her to finish writing.

At last, she finished, drawing an elaborate flourish and dotting the paper. Tearing out the sheet, she handed it to Albus with a pointed look on her face. "Now, go use it for whatever elaborate thing it is that you're planning."

"Cheers, Rosie," Albus said with a grin.

"Will you leave me alone now?"

"Until next time."

Rose rolled her eyes. "I guess that's _some_ time."

* * *

><p>"I bloody hate Transfiguration," Jem murmured, kicking a shoe from his foot with a violent swing of his leg. It hit a passing seventh year, who swore, glowered at Jem and tossed it into the fireplace.<p>

"Tosser," Jem snapped as he pulled his wand out of his pocket and cast a charm to extinguish the flames. "I notice you didn't leap to my poor shoe's rescue," he said, looking at Albus, who was curled up in the seat, a slightly amused expression on his face as Jem retrieved the smouldering remains of his footwear. "Does _reparo_ work on shoes?"

Albus shrugged. "Try it."

Try Jem did and it appeared to be successful. Slipping it back on his foot and moaning about the heat, he returned to struggling with his Transfiguration homework.

"How long has that taken you, Jones?" Albus asked amusedly. Jem didn't seem to find the subject as funny and pointedly ignored him.

With a yawn, Albus stretched his arms out behind him and smacked his lips together. "What's the time?"

"Four."

"Right," he said, standing up. "I'm going to go check on Hercules."

"Who?"

Albus raised his eyebrows. "The Bowtruckle."

Jem looked up incredulously. "You're mad." He sighed and rolled onto his back, closing his eyes. "Naming a bloody stick after a Greek Legend. Aren't you cool?"

Albus smiled. "I am cool, Jeremy, don't you forget it." He ran both hands through his hair, not caring that it stuck out in awkward tufts once he was done. Who cared what Rose said? In his opinion, bed hair suited him. Plus it was quite hard battling with it, so he just let it do its own thing, wild and unruly as it was. "It's Malfoy, he wants to meet up and check on wee twiggy."

"Like a date?" scoffed Jem.

"If you want to see it that way," Albus replied. He ruffled his hair again. "It's actually about that bet. I have to come up with a girl for him to pick now. For crying out loud, Jem, who am I going to pick?"

Jem grinned. "Well," he said with a smirk, "You said a girl. You didn't specify whether they had to be _alive_ or not."

* * *

><p>"What did she say then?"<p>

"Hello to you too," Albus said as he trudged along the path, hunched over and wrapped tightly in cloak and Gryffindor scarf. He pulled out the crumpled paper Rose had scrawled her note on and handed it to Scorpius with a frown. "I don't understand her."

"'I, Rose Weasley,'" Scorpius read, a small smile playing at his lips, "'do find Scorpius Malfoy more attractive than Albus Potter, due to the fact that Malfoy is a, not related to me, and b, does not do daft things with his hair.'" He grinned as Albus touched his hair a little. "Why do you do that, anyway?"

"James, Louis and Fred used to ruffle it when I was little," he replied with a shrug. "When they stopped it became my habit. I don't care how dishevelled it gets, s'long as it feels comfy that's fine by me." He looked at Scorpius and grinned. "So, wanna know who I've picked for you?"

"Not really," Scorpius replied airily. "I might hand in my resignation."

Albus stopped. "What?"

"You've won," Scorpius continued in the same careless tone. "Congratulations. I'll give you the money on Monday."

"Wait one cotton picking moment," Albus said, a glare forming on his face, "Did you just use me? Have I just been used?"

Scorpius shrugged, peering into the box that contained Hercules. "He looks alright..."

"Do you fancy Rose, then?"

Scorpius looked up. "No."

"You do," Albus snapped. "You wanted to know if she thought you were hot!"

"Yeah, and?" Scorpius asked, smirking. "I don't understand why you're upset. You won."

"Not properly!" Albus insisted. "If I partake in a bet, I want to win properly, else I'd rather lose."

"You're weird."

"I have a sense of justice," Albus said coldly. "Now, I'll forget that you used me if we just continue like normal."

Scorpius rolled his eyes. "You make it sound like a heinous crime."

"Shut up, Malfoy."

Scorpius smiled, but said nothing, bobbing up and down slightly on his heels as he waited for the name of the girl he had to ask to be revealed.

Albus smirked. "You have to ask Moaning Myrtle," he said with a grin. This plan was flawless. Myrtle had fancied Albus's father, and the similarity between father and son in this scenario were too large for Myrtle to merely overlook.

Scorpius's smile glittered. "Okay, Potter," he said slowly. "Where will I find wee ghostie?"

"Second floor girls' bathroom," he said immediately. When Scorpius gave him a very questioning look he blushed slightly, before insisting that Lily had told him.

Scorpius didn't seem to believe him.

**I'm not too fond of the ending, but never mind. :D**


	4. Of Cheating and Cheer

**It's been a really long while, and I do think I rather sneezed this chapter out. But anyway! Thank you ever so much to my lovely reviewers :D And Bittersweet x, I accept your challenge :P **

**Enjoy!**

**Rocky**

**x**

Once again they had arranged to meet whilst checking on their hibernated Bowtruckle, although this time Jem had decided to accompany Albus and Scorpius.

Bundled up in Gryffindor scarves, hats and gloves, the two boys traipsed down to the grounds to meet Scorpius, Jem muttering miserably all the way.

"Why can't you meet somewhere warmer?" he complained, covering his face with his gloved fingers in an attempt to warm up his hands. "Somewhere with a fire and people."

"You didn't have to come, Jem," Albus replied, nudging his friend. "Maybe if you weren't so darn nosey you wouldn't be here, so stop with your moaning."

They reached the wooden hut on the outskirts of the forest where Scorpius already sat, perched on the steps leading to the door of the aged gamekeeper Hagrid. "Well, well, well," he said, looking up and allowing himself a glittering smile. "Jem Jones."

"Malfoy," Jem replied coldly, nodding. The two had never quite seen eye-to-eye, despite the fact that they had never really said anything to each other. Scorpius viewed Jem as annoying whilst Jem maintained that the other was an evil git. "How did you enjoy chatting up a ghost?"

Scorpius grinned, a sign that didn't look too promising. "I enjoyed it very much."

"Come on then, what did she say?" Albus asked abruptly. "It's freezing out here. Did I win or not?"

"I won," he replied smugly, and Albus let out an irritated sigh.

"How could you have won?" he demanded angrily. "Moaning Myrtle was completely smitten with my father! I look like him! It's a no brainer!"

Scorpius's grin widened further. "She was also smitten with _my_ father, it appears, and she liked him better." He ran a hand through his sleek hair and winked. "I believe the devilish good looks are all mine."

Albus wanted to kick him, but gritted his teeth. "We said best of three."

"Um," Jem said, glancing at Al with his lips pressed in a thin line as if suppressing qualms of laughter, "I hate to break it to you, but he's already won two."

"I hate bloody bets," snapped Albus. Scorpius chuckled and continued to smile smugly.

"Admit it, Potter," he said, "I'm just better looking than y-" He was cut off abruptly with a face full of mud.

* * *

><p>There was one last Quidditch match to take place before Christmas; Gryffindor versus Slytherin, and it was to take place on the most miserable looking of days. Stormy grey clouds hung over them, blocking out the sunlight and creating the illusion of dusk, grass wet with dew and the light sheet of rain cascading down. The Gryffindor team at breakfast was particularly worried about this; what if it turned into a torrential downpour?<p>

The only person who seemed mildly positive was James, who was at the moment telling a disgruntled looking Louis all about how much better he was at beating than him. It was a light-hearted gesture designed to cheer up the team and failing miserably.

"Nervous?" Lily asked the team, gaze passing over James to the rest of the faces forming the group from where she sat with her gaggle of third year friends.

"I'm worried it's going to piss it down," James said, looking at Lily solemnly. "It might ruin Louis's hair."

Louis rolled his eyes and aimed a sharp jab at James's ribs, head still resting on the table.

"Seriously though," she said, "Are you worried you might lose? Because if you are, I'm taking back my bet."  
>"Don't make bets Lily," Albus told her flatly. "They never work."<p>

"I normally win," shrugged Lily. "Never lost a bet to you, have I?"

"He lost a bet to Malfoy," Jem told her, and she snorted.

"Why were you making bets with Malfoy?"

"Because he's his new best friend," Jem explained, the same teasing smile upon his face.

"Which reminds me, when's the wedding with Rosie, Jem?" Al replied, screwing his face up in a sugary grin. Jem flipped him the finger.

* * *

><p>"And it's a miserable day out here in the grounds, though the weather is astoundingly beautiful for Scotland," Sally Rudman, a loquacious sixth-year Hufflepuff, told the crowd from the commentator's box as the players began to assemble on the pitch, splashes of red and green against gloomy grey. James flashed a grin at the Slytherin captain, a miserable looking brunette girl with an Essex-facelift and a ponytail that fell beyond her waist. She would have been quite pretty had she not scraped her hair from her face and instead smiled, Albus mused, as he stifled a yawn with the palm of his hand. James stuck out his hand towards her; she rolled her eyes but took it anyway and they exchanged the usual death grip that took place between the captains of rival teams, the other members of the team looking on and glowering at each other, or in Louis's case, yawning profusely. Albus snorted; he never stopped with his yawns. He couldn't quite puzzle whether his cousin was attempting to look bored and cool or was genuinely sleep deprived and longing for bed.<p>

"Alright, kids, mount your brooms," James said, stepping back into the team and clapping Albus on the back as he lifted a leg over the Firebolt 6 he had spent his life's savings on the previous year as Albus clambered onto his Nimbus Two-Thousand-And-Eight, a vintage model that was his pride and joy.

"And they're off!" screeched Sally, her voice raising an octave on the final word. "And the Weasley- sorry, the _Gryffindor_ team has already got a grasp on the ball in lightning speed, with Hannah McCartney speeding for the goal – Pass to Mullen, to Potter, _nice_ dodge, Potter, pass to Mullen, Pot- WHAT WAS THAT?"

Albus felt a heavy weight knock him several feet lower as both the wind and the Quaffle were knocked from him. Gasping for breath as the weight lifted he looked up to see the brunette girl zoom off and hurl the Quaffle at another member of her team, who caught it in surprise and gawped for a moment.

"That's bloody unfair!" Sally protested angrily. "She's not even a chaser! What the hell?"

Albus looked to see if this was true; sure enough the girl swept back to the goal posts where she hovered with a sarcastic smile plastered on her face.

"Are you okay, Al?" Louis called over, frowning between the two. "You want me to get her?" He waved his beater's bat menacingly.

"Get back to the game, Lou," Albus responded. He didn't fancy being babied right now by his family just because one Slytherin thought that she could cheat at the game.

Sharrie Mullen threw the Quaffle back to him although he didn't miss the quick look in the brunette's direction to make sure he wasn't attacked again. It annoyed him a little. Did they think that she was planning some form of vindictive personal attack? It was ridiculous.

"Potter has the Quaffle, passes back to Mullen, to McCartney, McCartney shoots –"

Erin raised her shoulder right back as she prepared to shoot when someone wrenched her arm back, causing her to swear loudly as she lost her grip of the Quaffle. She turned around to see who it was who had grabbed it before a bludger siphoned past her face and caught the boy who had fouled her square in the face, followed by a stream of abuse from James.

There was a penalty to either team for that.

Slytherin scored on theirs, causing the air to turn blue with Roxanne's foul language. For a moment he thought she had been fouled too, but she had been so angry she had lost her grip and let it slip through the goal, which hurt to watch a little.

Now steaming, the Gryffindor team were beginning to abandon etiquette, the game getting gradually dirtier and dirtier, penalties becoming scarcer as they struggled to find something astoundingly appalling to award the opposing team. Erin had been almost pushed from her broom but the penalty had been quickly cancelled out when Sharrie slapped the blonde female Slytherin chaser across the face.

Albus glanced around as the squabble between the three girls took place in the small hope that he could see the snitch to help Wallace, the small, buck-toothed seeker who displayed a hidden talent for the capturing of the small golden ball, but he couldn't see anything, other than Scorpius Malfoy hovering some feet above him with an amused smirk taking hold of his features. Albus glared up at him. Of course _he'd_ find it funny.

Sally let out a low whistle which broadcasted across the field; Albus turned to look back at his team. The brunette girl was causing trouble again, it appeared; she had roughly grabbed one of her own beater's bats, causing them to almost plummet, and swung it fiercely at a passing bludger, which curved round in his direction.

He did the first thing that occurred to him.

He dived.

"WILL YOU BLOODY PISS OFF?" James hollered from somewhere above him; he pulled out of the dive and shot back upwards now that the bludger was a safe distance away thanks to his brother. "I actually want to _play_ some Quidditch without having to put up with twats like you!"

"POTTER! OGDEN! BREAK IT UP!" Madam Hooch, elderly and still fiercely stern, swooped towards them with a fiery expression on her face. "IF I HAVE TO..."

"AND HE'S DONE IT!" Sally screeched over the top of her; Albus looked up and to his horror saw the golden snitch clasped in the pale hand of Scorpius Malfoy, the smug expression on his face causing Albus's hand to twitch, ready to slap it from his chops.

"Bastard Slytherin," muttered Sharrie from next to him, spitting in a most unladylike manner. "Cheating, stinking, rotting, sleazy..."

"Who won?" Albus interrupted, looking from James to Ogden, who were both still caught up in heated battle. There had been so many penalties awarded within the game he wasn't sure where they stood anymore, how many had counted, how many points had been deducted... he had never been caught up in such a flurry of confusion in his life. For a moment, he understood how perplexed Hugo was whenever he tried to understand the game.

"We won," Scorpius replied, squinting across at the board. "What a surprise."

"Only because you cheated like hell," snapped Albus, glaring at his Care of Magical Creatures partner. Scorpius smiled.

"You cheated back," he pointed out, "So don't go lecturing me."

"I didn't cheat personally," snapped Albus, before Scorpius coughed, indicating his innocence on the affair. He looked back across at his brother, who had Ogden in a headlock, Madam Hooch attempting to prize him away. He barely sustained a snort at the sight.

"Congrats, then, I guess," Albus sighed. "Must you beat me in everything?"

"I'm just a very gifted person," Scorpius sighed, and Albus gave him an elbow in the ribs that almost knocked him from his broom. Albus smiled the same sugary expression as Scorpius had previously adopted, nodding.

"Shut up Potter."

"I didn't-"

"You don't have to."

* * *

><p>With Christmas drawing ever nearer the attention spans of the students were growing ever shorter, much to the frustration of the teachers. Professor Perrin seemed on the verge of a nervous breakdown in their Tuesday Ancient Runes lesson; her hair was rather wilder than usual and she had bitten her nails to the quick. Professor Smith had stopped exploding things to gain their attention and had started shouting, resulting in the almost total loss of his voice on Thursday and his refusal to go to the nurse meant that they had to really strain their ears to hear him and knuckle down out of sheer empathy.<p>

"I will be glad when Christmas is out of the way," he admitted, hoarse voice squeaking on the end of some words. "Then you might actually realise that this isn't a piss about year and get your heads down and study. Because if you fail your OWLs, you won't get any NEWTs and then you'll never do anything with your lives and die of STIs and pneumonia." Albus had a feeling he was exaggerating.

It was at the end of Care of Magical Creatures the day before they were all due to return home that Scorpius stopped him.

"Oi, Potter, wait up a second," he said in a jaunty and over-confident voice. Albus turned to look at him, pointedly yawning.  
>"Hurry up Malfoy, some of us have places to be."<p>

"And some of us don't," Scorpius replied coolly. "No need to be so cross all the time."

"You make me cross," Albus said, but his heart was only half in it. "What do you want?"

"Just to give you this." He reached inside the pocket to his cloak and retrieved a shiny silver package, which he handed to Albus, who looked at it as if he had just been handed a primed grenade. "What's this?"

"It's a Christmas present," Scorpius replied, before gesturing around; out of the corner of Albus's eye he saw Rose smack Jem with a dustpan. "It is Christmastime after all. This is etiquette."

"Bollocks," Albus muttered to himself at the sudden realisation that he had not thought to get Scorpius anything. "Well, uh, thanks, I guess," he said, gritting his teeth. "I... left your present... somewhere."

"It doesn't matter, Potter, I'll live," Scorpius said with a smile. "I just wanted to get you something, just to prove that I'm not a bastard. I'm worried you might dislike me due to my constant whooping of your arse, but you can't ruin perfection..." He inhaled dramatically, and Albus grinned.

"What are you doing for Christmas?"

"Staying here," Scorpius said, throwing a nonchalant shrug. "Mother and Father are going to Zimbabwe. I didn't fancy going so it was either here or Auntie Daphne's, and I can't stand her. So here I will stay."

Albus smiled sadly. "Anyone else going to stay here?"

"A few daring first years who think they can stay away from their parents for an entire year," Scorpius said, smirking. "Perhaps I'll join them and go exploring." He picked up his bag and slung it over his shoulder. "Anyway, I'd best be off. I have things to do, people to see. Merry Christmas, Albus."

"Yeah, mate, you too," Albus replied, picking up his own bag. He didn't understand why, but for some inexplicable reason a wave of sadness had taken hold of him to think of Scorpius on his own at Christmas. He wouldn't have cared normally, but Scorpius was admittedly okay, and just because his parents had decided to go abroad, he didn't think that was a legitimate reason for Scorpius having to partake the almighty chore of striking up conversation with first years. Plus it seemed miserable to think of himself opening his stocking with the rest of his enormous family whilst Scorpius sat alone with not even a present from Albus to keep him briefly satisfied.

"Hey, Mal-Scorpius!" Albus hollered after the blond boy's retreating back. Scorpius turned around to meet his gaze and raised his eyebrows.  
>"What now?" he called back.<p>

Albus began walking to close the distance between them, before speaking. "I just wondered if maybe you wanted to come to ours for Christmas," he said, shrugging. "I mean, my sister always brings one of her giggly third year friends and my brother teams up with my cousins against the rest of us so they won't mind if you come. You don't have to of course," he added hastily, "Only you might get a bit miserable on your own and I just thought..."

"That would be really cool," Scorpius interrupted, smiling. "Thank you."

"Well, you go tell McGoogles or whoever it is who controls holidays," Albus told him with a grin. "Eh, who knows, my family might actually warm to you."

"One thing though," Scorpius said, voice suddenly serious.

"Yes?"

"Will Rose Weasley be there?"

"You may be invited to Christmas but that still doesn't entitle you to fancy any of my cousins."

"Just checking."

"Oh, just shut up Malfoy."

Scorpius grinned. "Oh, we're going to have _such_ a fun time."


	5. Of Jumpers and Jolliness

**Okay, I'm just not even going to apologise because it's stupid how long this has been since I updated it. I've had like the first three pages of this on word for ages and ages, but it comes in bursts of inspiration. I am so so so so sorry that I haven't updated this for so long! And I'm going to do the typical me thing and say "it's not very good for such a long wait!" but then I'm gonna try make it up to you by updating again really soon :P Well. I say that. Hopefully within twelve months this time.**

**Thank you so so much to everyone who has reviewed! You're all really supportive, and I hope you like this chapter! **

**Rocky**

**xxx**

"Oh, James, you look dashing!"

James grinned, tugging on the ribbons of the bonnet he had won from the cracker around his chin. "It brings out my eyes, doesn't it?"

"And the gaudy seventies pattern is just _so_ fetching with your complexion," Louis said in a sing-song voice. "Still, it would look much better on me."

Scorpius stared bemusedly around the living room. The experience of having so many related people in one room was completely foreign to him. Where the house was virtually empty when the Malfoys had Christmas, the Weasleys were completely different. Adults laughed in the kitchen as they drank alcoholic beverages. Their kids had free reign of the living room, and Scorpius had never quite realised just how many of them there were or how many house groups they covered.

Louis, James and Fred were sprawled on the floor, Louis and James laughing about the bonnet whilst Fred organised some beans into correct colour groups absent-mindedly ("He's a little bit OCD," Al whispered to Scorpius quietly). Dominique had spread herself out across the sofa, reading some slightly gory looking graphic novel with moving illustrations that attempted to hack each other to pieces, a small smile on her face as she continually kicked her brother back and forth, foot resting on his back. Lucy and Victoire were discussing something in fits of giggles; Lucy's eye make-up was so dark and her plaits so messy that it looked more like she was about to go out to a club than to a Christmas Eve dinner - in contrast, Victoire was the epitome of precision with her neat blonde hair falling carefully into a very intricate style. Hugo, Roxanne and Molly were also in conversation, Hugo talking animatedly to Roxanne about the latest band his elder cousin had got him into, Molly's hand perched lightly on his shoulder as she grinned at his words. Roxanne had completely surprised Scorpius, a bohemian dress and thick woollen red tights adorning her figure rather than the usual jeans and hoodies he'd seen her wear on weekends at Hogwarts. She caught him looking her direction, smiled awkwardly and smoothed her dress.

"Wow, Rox, you look good," Albus said, and she responded by giving him two thumbs up.

"I feel so girly though," she told him with a shrug. "It's stupidly un-me. I might as well be wearing the wrong jumper."

Albus laughed, Scorpius had no idea what she meant. Albus turned to him as if realising something. "That reminds me, I think Gran is knitting you one too," he said. "A signature Weasley jumper, that is. Not a dress."

"A dress would look really smashing though," a voice from behind announced, and the two boys span around to see Rose. Only it was Rose as he had never seen before.

Skinny jeans and a fitted white blouse, a navy blue jumper tied around her waist, Rose's hair was sleeked and straightened, about three inches longer than it usually was in her tight coils. Still no make-up, Scorpius noted, but she didn't need it, and he quite liked the fact that her face wasn't caked in slap like Lucy's was. She raised her eyebrows at him pointedly; he closed his mouth.

"He _has_ got the figure for a dress," Albus agreed in a teasing tone, nudging Scorpius as he pretended to admire the other boy's shape. "I could see him in green. Or maybe red, to bring out his inner Gryff..."

"He's blond, he could pull of red," Rose continued, grinning widely. She formed a picture frame with her fingers. "Oh yes, I can see it now."

"I'd look better in a dress than Scorpius though," Louis said, popping up over Rose's shoulder, fastening a bow to the garish headwear that James had won from the cracker and flashing them all a toothy smile.

"Oi! Give me back my bloody bonnet!"

"But it suits me so much!" Louis laughed as he hit the ground, tackled by James, who was now sitting on top of him, fighting his cousin's hands to undo the bow at his neck and retrieve the hat. "Oof!"

James sat up triumphantly, crowning himself with the bonnet, before pulling Louis into a headlock. "Admit your defeat, Weasley!"

"Never!"

Albus turned to look at Scorpius apologetically, but Scorpius shrugged, an amused expression playing at his lips. "Is it always this mad?"

"Wait till Lily's little gaggle get downstairs. Then you'll experience the war of the redheads."

"Sounds intriguing."

Albus snorted. "Intriguing is one word for it, I guess."

Dinner was announced shortly after that and they trooped into the dining room, which had seemingly been expanded for the enormous amount of people around the table. Scorpius got squashed in between Dominique and Hugo as Mrs Weasley bustled around them. "Here dear," she said to him, taking his plate from him and beginning to laden it with food, "You look like you haven't had a decent meal in your life. I'll give you a bit of everything."

"Grandma, I've never had a decent meal in my life, either," Fred piped up quickly, and Mrs Weasley rolled her eyes.

"That was a bit of a backhanded insult, Freddie," Dominique responded, dishing herself up some potatoes. "Gran won't want to feed you now, you twonk."

"Dominique," her father said in a vaguely exhausted warning voice. "Please."

Mrs Weasley placed Scorpius's plate in front of him, his helping considerably larger than it would have been had he been serving himself. "Don't be reserved about getting more," she added to him quietly. "You can guarantee that the boys will gorge themselves until we have to roll them up the stairs and the girls will sneak more onto their plates."

He nodded, smiling, and she winked before moving round to help some of Lily's friends.

"Where's Teddy?" Dominique asked casually, causing Victoire to choke on a piece of chicken.

"He's working or something," James replied, still wearing the bonnet, abandoning attempting to cut the drumstick and instead picking it up, causing Scorpius to wrinkle his nose slightly. He would never be allowed to do that in his own home, it would be an atrocious lack of manners in his parents' eyes. No-one really seemed phased here. "Why? Do you _fancy_ him?"

Dom snorted. "Yes. That is exactly it. I fancy Teddy so much. He's the most attractive person I have ever met. Get real, Jim."

Across the table, Victoire was growing steadily redder. Roxanne, who was next to her, seemed to notice this, and took it upon herself to change the subject. "You know who I think is attractive?"

"Me?" James asked, grinning.

Roxanne smirked in his direction, before stabbing a potato with her fork and pointing it at Lucy, who grinned. "Elijah Smith."

"Oh, not that knob," groaned Albus amongst a chorus of protests from the boys and a unanimous agreement from the girls. Hugo, Scorpius noted, stayed completely silent, merely cutting into his chicken.

"He's a bastard, Rox," Fred said (Scorpius noticed that the food on his plate had been diced into roughly equal squares and organised into food groups), and Roxanne grinned.  
>"He is fit though."<p>

"Really?" James wrinkled his nose. "I don't see it. Our Lou is prettier than him."

Several of Lily's friends giggled. Dominique took it upon herself to hit Louis in the arm. "Yeah. He's a pretty little girl, Louisa."

"Shut up."

"Well, you did look good in that bonnet, Lou," James teased, tapping the object on his head in pride.

"Right, Scorpius," Louis said, leaning across to look at him, and Scorpius nodded in acknowledgement. "Do I look like a girl?"

"Say yes," hissed Dominique, and Scorpius looked at her fully for the first time. She was extremely beautiful, even more beautiful than he remembered, what with her rich red hair and very blue eyes. He only managed to tear his eyes away when James repeated her words.

"No, don't say yes!" Louis said, grinning. "Tell me honestly. They say I look like a girl. And I have girly handwriting. And being French is girly. It's your fault," he added, looking between his sisters. Victoire still looked slightly pink in the cheeks.  
>"Well, Veelas are very girly, Lou, you must admit," Albus said in a mocking voice, and Louis flipped him the finger just as Albus's mother entered the room.<p>

"Louis!" Ginny reprimanded, though she was smiling. "What was that for? What did the little cynic say now?"

"I said nothing," Albus replied. "Honestly Mother, why do you assume that I must have said something and Louis's not just a really hostile and rude individual?"

Ginny's smirk told him plainly that she knew. "If Louis was any more laid back, he'd be dead. Sorry, Lou."

"Damn," Al muttered, grinning as Ginny swatted him with a napkin, before pulling out a chair to sit next to Harry, who was deep in an obviously entertaining conversation with a brunette woman next to him. "She's thwarted me."

Ginny grinned in response, and the clattering of plates resumed. Scorpius turned back to his meal, silence spreading over the table temporarily.

"Auntie Gin, do I look like a girl?"

* * *

><p>There was something very cosy about the Burrow. As they sat in one of the rooms after dinner listening to the three elder boys recount tales of games and teasing and just general larking about, Scorpius had a sudden wistfulness wishing he could trade his childhood for theirs. Sure, he'd never wanted or needed, but that was it. He'd never had any sibling rivalry or competition, he'd never ganged up or been ganged up on. In short, he wasn't sure that his childhood had been anywhere near as worthwhile as the Weasley clans'.<p>

"But like, you'd never have won, even if you didn't punch like a girl," James said, grinning as Louis smirked, rolling his eyes. "I'm just supreme. The Potter Supremacy is strong within me, unlike you, poncy Veela boy."

"If you want to lay off, that's fine by me," Louis sighed, though he was smiling as he laid back on the floor, closing his eyes.

"But we never want to lay off, Louise, you're just so fun to tease!" Fred replied, poking the blond boy in the cheek and readjusting his cousin's clothes so that the labels and his stomach weren't showing.

"Though, Lou, if you really wanted us to lay off, I'm sure we could bully the Malfoy kid for a bit," James said, and there was a titter of agreement from the others.

"I'm game for that," Dom said with a shrug, putting the gruesome graphic novel down and folding her arms, turning to face Scorpius, who smirked a little.

"Oh, you guys, you're just too welcoming," he said, and for the first time he saw the glimpse of a genuine smile flutter across Rose's face. He grinned back; it faded almost as quickly as it had arrived. "Come on then, who's gonna start? Should Louis be allowed first jab because he's been mercilessly penalised for every little movement so far this evening?"

"Nah, mate, I'm the victim, not the bully," Louis replied, sitting up and leaning back on the heels of his hands. "I'll just be here for a small amount of moral support." He looked down at his chest as James crossed his feet, placing them on it. "Are you comfy there?"

"Shh, boy, speak when you're spoken to," was James' response.

"Hey, let him be, he's a guest, isn't he?" Victoire pitched in, and Scorpius felt the same feeling of being drawn to her, an intense need of having to impress her, once more. He snapped out of it when Hugo hit him in the arm, smirking slightly.

"And he's been far too quiet," James replied. "At least Lily's friends have been giggling away. We know that they're here. Whereas Scorpius... well, like he said, we just want to make him feel welcome, Vic."

"Come on then, bring it on," Scorpius said, yawning theatrically. "Let the teasing commence. I'm quite looking forward to these pitiful attempts." He stretched his arms behind him and leaned back against the sofa. "Still, you are virtually all ginger. I'm sure I should allow some exception."

"I think I preferred it when he was quiet," muttered Molly from a coffee table, looking over notes from a study from work as Dominique and James in particular gasped indignantly, Dominique cracking her knuckles.

"See, this is why everyone thinks you're an arsehole," Albus noted, grinning, and Scorpius shrugged.

"Oh, is _that_ why?" he asked, feigning shock. "I thought they were just being unfair and unjust due to their jealousy of my wonderful looks."

"And again."

"Come on, Potter, admit it. The girls fawn over me."

"Dick."

* * *

><p>It was pleasantly toasty in Albus's uncle's old room. The Weasley and Potter boys and Scorpius were sharing. Teddy, who had turned up later that evening, got his own room to the great disgruntlement of James.<p>

"I'm the oldest, I should have the room," he announced indignantly, Teddy rolling his eyes. "Well you know, the oldest bar Teddy. But I'm related to Grandma."

"Yeah, and she knows just how much of a little shit you are," Fred replied teasingly. "Ted's a good boy. And being related is less of an advantage. That way she definitely knows what you get up to."

"Well, then, Louis should have the room, shouldn't he?" James continued, a small grin playing at his lips. "It's unfair for him to share with all us lads, what with him being a girl and all."

"Ugh, when will the torment end?" Louis' muffled voice emanated from where he lay on the floor, head under a pillow.

"Go on Princess, get your beauty sleep," Fred grinned, and Louis threw his pillow at him, smacking him in the face with it. Pleased with himself, he grinned and rolled onto his back.

"I fail to see how we're all going to fit in here," Scorpius admitted to Albus, who grinned.

"Not all of us were brought up with a bedroom the size of a Quidditch pitch, Malfoy," he replied, and Scorpius wrinkled his nose. "Some of us have spacial awareness."

"I have spacial awareness," Scorpius said, folding his arms. "It largely consists of personal space though."

"And ego?"

"Well, my ego demands a lot of room. I don't want someone to damage it."

It turned out however that they did all fit, Scorpius and Hugo taking the two existing beds, James, Albus and Fred fixing up camp-beds in the gaps. Louis had fallen asleep sprawled on the floor in such a strange position that James decreed they should leave him there.

"When he has dead limbs in the morning and can't move it'll be worth it," he told them, grinning.

The bed was comfy, too, and though Fred and James were still chatting, Scorpius felt pleasantly tired enough to fall asleep (though a small part of his mind warned him he should probably remain alert in case the three elder boys woke up and decided to get him).

He was woken abruptly when something hit him in the face.

"Oi, Malfoul, Merry Christmas," said a voice from above as he sat bolt upright, spluttering. Pulling the object from his face, he looked at the silver package in his hands in slight confusion.

"What's this?"

"A present, it's etiquette," Albus mimicked in a high pitched lispy voice, before grinning.

"I sound nothing like that, Potter."

"Well, actually, it's not from me. It's from my Gran. But you know, since I haven't bothered to get you anything I'll say we shared," the dark haired boy told him, before sitting on the end of Scorpius's bed and kicking Louis awake, leaving Scorpius to continue to stare at the package.

"It's not a bomb, you know," Hugo said from the bed next to him, a similar package on his lap as he shook an alarm clock next to his ear, which consequently punched him. "Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed as Fred started laughing. "Why'd you get me this?"

"To wake you up in the mornings," replied Fred, smiling, before glancing down at the blond boy who was still sprawled on the floor. "Though something tells me I should have got it for Louis. Come on, Veela Boy, shake a leg. It's Christmas," he added before reaching down to grab Louis' shoulder, Louis groaning in protest. "Rise and shine Princess!"

Scorpius grinned and turned his attention back to the package, a little unsure as to why the eldest Mrs Weasley, Albus' grandmother, would want to get him a Christmas present.

"Seriously, Malfoy, if you don't open it I'm gonna open it for you," Albus interrupted Scorpius' thought process, and Scorpius raised his eyebrows.

"Patience is a virtue, Potter," he replied, but he sighed and began to tear the wrapping paper open. Out fell something soft and evidently knitted, and Albus grinned, holding up a similar item, a green jumper with the letter A emblazoned on it in red and gold. "Let's see what she did on yours, then," he said, giving Scorpius' jumper a prod with his foot.

Scorpius lifted it and held it against his torso, before glancing down. The silver S was on a dark green background, the Slytherin colours. But then, under closer inspection, the S wasn't in fact an S at all.

"Haha, it's a snake," Albus muttered, grinning appreciatively, and Scorpius smiled too. The serpent was contorted into the shape of his initial.

"That's fantastic," Scorpius whispered, a smile breaking across his face. "Wow, she's really clever. That's... that's the best thing I've ever had."

Immediately he wished he could swallow back the words as Albus's eyebrows shot up beneath his messy hairline. "Like, seriously?" he asked. "Doesn't your nan knit you stuff?"

"I'm not sure either of mine are sure how to," Scorpius replied, and Albus pressed his mouth into a thin line.

"Well, Grandma loves knitting, so I'm guessing I could get you a monthly order if you wanted," he said, and Scorpius grinned.

"Why, thank you Potter, though in the summer months jumpers might not be quite appropriate. Does she do evening wear?"


	6. Of Festivities and Fireworks

**Merry Christmas my lovelies! I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to update – and it's not even that good an update to compensate! Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. **

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

"If that goes off one more time I'm going to curse it," murmured Ginny as she tightened her grip on the pillow around her head as Harry shifted in the bed to reach for the offending device, yawning profusely. Eyes scanning the flashing paper blearily, he rubbed them with the heel of his left hand and threw his glasses on his face, trying harder to focus.

"Shit," he muttered. From next to him, his sleepy wife groaned and pressed the pillow closer to her face.

"What is it?"

"I've got to get to work," he told her, kicking the duvet off of his side of the bed and pushing himself to his feet as he looked around for some fresh clothes.

Ginny removed the pillow and pushed herself into a sitting position. "What?" she asked incredulously, raising her eyebrows. "On Christmas Day? That's ridiculous!"

"That's the Ministry," Harry replied sourly, and Ginny frowned. "Look I've got to go in, it's an emergency. You understand, right?"

"When will you be back?" she asked, and he shook his head as he shrugged into a shirt, buttoning it up unevenly in his haste.

"I don't know yet."

"Do you think you'll be back today? Should I get Mum to save you some lunch?"

Harry had to smile at that. "If you wouldn't mind. Listen, I'm so sorry about this, but it has to be sorted out."

"_What_ has to be sorted out?" Ginny enquired as Harry buckled his belt and pulled on some socks, running a hand through his hair and ruling it finished.

"Nothing you need to worry about, Gin," he said, moving round to peck her on the cheek. "Merry Christmas, darling."

"Don't you 'darling' me, Mr Ambiguity," she snapped, pouting, and he laughed before pulling her into a proper kiss.

"Nothing to worry about!" he repeated as he grabbed his shoes, slung a tie around his neck and swung around, apparating mid-stride, leaving a loud crack and a thoroughly bemused Ginny.

* * *

><p>The probability of explosion on consuming any more food was rather high, Scorpius thought as Mrs Weasley ladled more buttery potatoes onto his plate, Albus stabbing one with his fork and stealing it for his own.<p>

"Oi, cheeky!" Mrs Weasley chided cheerily as Al grinned and bit into the potato, making an "mmmm" noise as he swallowed.

"Grandma, your potatoes are fabulous as ever," he commended her, and she swatted him with the spare end of her oven glove, which made him smile more.

If he had thought yesterday's meal and atmosphere was anything to go by, today's experience blew him away. The room was an explosion of colour, vibrant decorations chasing each other through the air, the tables groaning beneath the weight of the mountain of food. Scorpius had at first started with the intention to taste everything in the room, but this had soon proved more difficult than he would have thought, especially with Mrs Weasley providing him with perhaps the most generous portion sizes of all of them (bar Lily's third year friends, all of whom had made suggestions of not possibly being able to finish their first plates and instead polishing off third helpings). Everyone was clad in one of Mrs Weasley's signature jumpers, bar Mrs Weasley herself. That struck Scorpius as a bit odd, but Al had shrugged it off.  
>"If you had to knit all of those jumpers, you wouldn't want to knit one for yourself, would you?" he had explained. "You'd want someone to knit one for you, and none of us are any good at that kind of stuff."<p>

There was a cacophonous noise too; the three Gryffindor boys were killing themselves laughing as they took it in turns to pull stupid faces with their food while Roxanne and Lucy played football with forks and a Brussel Sprout, cackling whenever it hit someone. Despite this, however, no-one could help but notice the three empty seats that should have been filled by Harry, Ron and Teddy, all of whom had been called into work during the early hours of the morning.

"Well, Gran, that was beautiful, thank you," James announced finally, rubbing his belly. "But now is the moment you've all been waiting for. The Annual War of the Redheads."

Scorpius raised his eyebrows. "So you weren't kidding," he muttered to Albus, who grinned.

"Do I ever kid?"

"Well you are generally a bit of a joke."

"Shallow."

"Why've you appointed yourself as head of this?" Dominique interrupted, folding her arms brusquely.

"Because I'm the eldest Weasley male, and therefore it is my duty."

"No you're not, you're not even a Weasley," Fred said from next to him with a grin. "Therefore that would make me the eldest Weasley male."

"Actually, I think I should be in charge as the eldest Weasley redhead," another voice interrupted from further down the table, and everyone turned to look at a tall man with long greying red hair who was smirking, his arms folded. This was a surprise for Scorpius. Never in history had an adult from his family offered to partake in any activity with him. In fact, it was rarely that any activity happened at all.

"Oh my God, you're not joining in are you, Dad?" Victoire asked, a look of mild horror crossing her face.

"What, am I too old?" Victoire's father replied, and Dominique shrugged.

"You are a bit, Pa, you must admit."

"She's just gutted because if Uncle Bill joins in that means she definitely has to," Lucy said with a knowing grin, and Victoire shot her a venomous look. "Doesn't want to mess up her hair, probably."

"I am not afraid to mess up my hair!" Victoire snapped back, and Bill grinned, standing up.

"Settles it then," he said, clapping his hands together, smirking at the expression on his eldest's face as she realised what she had just signed up for. "I'll see you in the orchard in about ten minutes. Don't be late or there'll be a forfeit."

At once the table bustled again as the din of scraping chairs sounded and the various Weasley members and their friends moved to go upstairs. Albus knocked Scorpius with the back of his hand and pointed to the stairs. "Come on then, Malfoy. I guess you get to come on our team. Lou! Wait up."

"You know, it would be helpful if you could explain to me what's going on, Potter," Scorpius replied as he followed him towards where the other blond boy stood, leaning against the doorframe and clutching his stomach.

"What's wrong with you, Delacour?"

"I'm so full I think I might burst," replied Louis, smiling feebly. He looked at Scorpius and then shrugged. "You're blond."

"I can see why you're head boy, brimming with that much intelligence," Scorpius replied, and Louis pulled a face as Albus grinned, continuing, "Gosh, Lou, what were your OWL results like? Was it you or Fred who could spell a rude word with them?"

"Shut up, I've been sticking up for you!" he said, though a grin broke through, swiftly followed by a yawn. "Anyway. You're blond. So you can be on our team."

"Albus isn't blond."

"Yeah, but I'm not a ginge, so I also can be on this team," Albus replied smartly, smirking. "In fact, eligible for the team alongside us are Victoire, Lucy, Roxanne and Lily's group of friends, plus some of the less boring adults."

"Yeah, but Victoire won't want to join in because she'll feel fat and is too mature for us and won't want to mess up her hair," Louis explained, and Albus grinned, adding "And Lily's mates are too scared to join in because they'll be so close to Louis, which we all know is shit-scary."

"Terrifying," agreed Scorpius, and Louis grinned.

"Anyway, I appoint myself captain as the oldest and the one who knows the evil mastermind known as James the best," he said, patting his chest. "All in favour say something."

* * *

><p>The Ministry looked depressingly familiar as Teddy entered it, rubbing his hands through his hair. Even at Christmas it seemed cheerless and oppressive to him, the only striking difference being the thinned amount of people crossing through the atrium. He turned to look at Harry, who had an expression displaying how he himself was feeling. "This better be bloody good."<p>

"Molly's going to save us some grub, mate, don't worry too much," Harry assured him half-heartedly.

"Yeah, but it's not the same, is it?" Ron grumbled, and both Teddy and Harry sighed in agreement. "We did have to pick the one stupid job in which you'd get called out for Christmas."

"You'd think all the evil forces would want to take the day off, wouldn't you?"

Teddy nodded, wrinkling his nose as he stifled a yawn with his fist. There was still a naïve part of him that made him wish that this might be some sort of Christmas surprise, and that in fact he would enter his place of work to find a party or a huge present, though the rest of him severely doubted this. It was nice to dream though, he supposed. The lift clattered to a halt and opened; Harry and Teddy followed Ron inside the long department.

At least in the Auror Department there was more of a hint that it was Christmas. Makeshift Christmas decorations had been strung up around the cubicles; strands of tinsel that had snapped off littered the floor like shiny blades of mown grass, photos of family had been tacked to the separate compartments, varying from the neat smiling faces of Ron's wife and children to the chaotic picture of Harry's children, all fighting to get into shot of the camera, Ginny laughing in the background. Teddy grinned as he passed the picture, before turning to look around. "Where are we meeting him?"

"Gentlemen," a voice answered him, and Teddy looked down the passage to see the wizened figure of Kingsley Shacklebolt. Elderly he may have been, but he still held a sort of presence that Teddy admired. His deep voice was calming and yet powerful, too; Teddy hoped that his own voice would have a similar resonance when he was the other man's age. "I'm so sorry to have to call you in on a day like today."

"Not at all, Minister," Harry replied, grinning slightly at the title. That was the thing about Harry; he always seemed to know everybody as far as Teddy was concerned. "What's the problem, then?"

"The case we were discussing during the week," Kingsley said with a meaningful glance at Teddy's godfather, and Harry raised his eyebrows slightly. "It's become urgent."

"Urgent," repeated Harry slowly, and Kingsley nodded. Teddy exchanged a glance with Ron, who seemed to be as equally in the dark as he was.  
>"Um, excuse me," Ron interrupted, smiling tiredly at them. "Sorry, but Ted and I don't really know what's going on here, so if you guys could maybe stop being so vague or become a little bit more subtle, mate..."<p>

"Yeah, sure, sorry," Harry replied, ruffling his hair with a slightly lost expression on his face that unsettled Teddy to some degree. Obviously something had happened, and it wasn't some surprise Christmas present.

"There is something... unsettling... that has been emerging in recent times," Kingsley began in his rich tone, and Teddy felt just that at the way he had said it. "We've noticed a spike in... shall we say, certain disturbing views."

"Generally of the right-wing variety," Harry added, the undertone of bitterness bubbling just beneath his words.

Ron's eyebrows rose minimally. "Right. Okay."

"Until now it hasn't been anything too troublesome," Kingsley announced, which only seemed to make Teddy feel more unnerved. "However, certain information has come to light and... well."

"This is not sounding like particularly festive news," Ron muttered.

"There seems to be an organisation arising."

"An organisation?"

"A group of very extreme wizards has been discovered to have been campaigning," Kingsley explained.

"So we need to watch them?"

The look he got from the three elder men made Teddy feel like he had just said something incredibly naive.

Kingsley seemed to ponder him before he spoke. "Unfortunately, we've received contact from them."

"Ah."

Was it only Teddy who seemed to remain confused? This wasn't making much sense to him. Did he pretend he understood?

"Are you okay, Ted?" Harry asked, seemingly sensing his godson's confusion, and Teddy nodded, frowning to indicate he wasn't one hundred per cent clear (without having to admit to the Minister of Magic that he was the only person there that didn't seem to follow). As if in response, Kingsley produced a document of parchment sealed in a shiny plastic wallet, handing it over to Teddy.

_ATTENTION_

_Glad tidings and merriment! What a day for a celebration._

_And how to celebrate without a fireworks display? _

_Maybe you'd like to join us!_

_The first bang will be at midday._

_Merry Christmas, Ministry._

It was as if at the moment that it clicked in Teddy's brain that an enormous crashing noise rumbled from above him and everything went black.

* * *

><p>"I am not a cheat."<p>

"You so cheated!"

"I'm talented. You're old."

"I am not _old_, little boy, I am a man," Bill snapped in reply to his son, who looked very amused about the whole affair, "and you are a flipping cheat."

They trudged back up to the house, hair sopping wet with enchanted snow, Bill and his son fighting over the latter's victory. The afternoon had been, to say the least, enjoyable. Bill (who could be described as nothing if not cool in Scorpius's eyes, and he detested that word) had enchanted the orchard so that a thick layer of snow would cover the grass and tree tops and the group split into two, preparing two large (and in James's case, rather elaborate) forts of which to hide behind, before the battle commenced and Scorpius was introduced to his very first snowball fight. They had won by the skin of their teeth, and Bill was not about to accept this defeat graciously.

"Come on, though, I mean you have to admit, I'm bloody good at this game," Louis said, smirking at his Dad, who raised his eyebrows. "And I'm sure you would be too Dad. If only your bones moved a little bit faster, you could have caught up with us." He clucked his tongue and shook his head sadly.

"Could I now?" Bill asked, and Louis nodded.

"It's the arthritis, Dad," he began to explain. "It's crippling y-!" His sentence was finished with a mouthful of snow as Bill stuck his foot out and tripped him into the snow, wrestling him to the ground.

"Say that again, Lou?" Bill asked, grinning as Louis struggled beneath him. "What was that about old bones?"

"You know," Albus said, brushing snow and water from his hair, "I'm starting to worry about Hercules."

"What about him?"

"Do you reckon he's cold?"

"He's a stick."

Albus looked at Scorpius pointedly. "I can't believe you just called our child a stick."

Scorpius shrugged. "He can't hear us."

Albus smacked him on the shoulder. "That's beside the point. We shouldn't have left him."

"Okay," Scorpius said as he flicked his hand through his hair, "so you're saying that on Christmas day, a day when all over the world people come together to celebrate, and you are joined by your wonderful family and let's face it, your devilishly handsome beast of a classmate, AKA myself, a remarkable opportunity that many can merely dream of, and you're spending it worrying about a twig."

"Do you reckon Gran would knit him a jumper?"

Thankfully Scorpius didn't have to reply as a shriek of "OW! MURDER! MURDER!" cut across them.

Scorpius exchanged a look with Albus as they watched Bill and Louis wrestle on the ground, Bill seemingly more successful than his son.

* * *

><p>Teddy's head was groggy and vision blurred, as if he were looking up through water. He felt as if he were too, his senses fuzzy. He heard a noise breaking through the constant ring in his head, a deep, muffled noise, as he tried to focus on the voice saying his name.<p>

"He's over here! Ted? Teddy?"

Teddy squeezed his eyes shut tightly and then opened them again in a weak attempt to clear his eyesight. "Ted, can you hear me?"

He tried to speak but the only noise he emitted was a vague grunt.

"Let's get him out of here," Harry's voice said, and Teddy felt hands heaving him to his feet, his arm slung around his godfather's shoulders.

"Can he walk?"

"Grab his legs, Ron."

Teddy tried to protest, but his body didn't seem to want to obey his will, and he felt himself lifted, before being hoisted over the red headed man's shoulder.

"Not long, Ted, we'll get you home. Let's get him out of here," Harry repeated, and Teddy was aware of a pat on his shoulder and more anxious murmuring before his vision ceased once more and he was plunged into darkness.

* * *

><p>"So, Malfoy, how was your first Weasley Christmas?" asked Dominique cheerfully, twirling her bottle of Butterbeer between her elegant fingers on the coffee table, leaning towards him with a smirk painted on her face. The increasingly familiar feeling of breathlessness returned to Scorpius as she did, the boy noting how she smelt of spice and shampoo as she did so.<p>

"First?" James interrupted, raising his eyebrows as Louis pulled Scorpius backwards and away from his sister with a small smile on his face. "As in first with the implication that there will be many more Weasley Christmases in line for him?"

"You're so welcoming, James," Lily said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I don't know why you don't have more friends."

"Answer my question!" Dominique demanded as James started pulling faces at his younger sister. "I want to know, little Scorpy."

She was really quite intimidating. "You mean the communal bullying of Scorpius Malfoy?" he asked, and she smiled a glittering smile. "It's been the time of my life." He smirked, before shrugging. "It's been alright, I suppose. The food's been good. The family kind of sucks."

"It really does, doesn't it?" James agreed, clapping Scorpius on the back, and standing up. "I hate all of you, if I'm honest. Especially you, Lou."

"Glad to hear it."

"Drinks!" James exclaimed suddenly. "I want a drink. Someone get me a top-up. Rox!"

"No."

"Go on, woman, fetch one a whiskey."

"Go get it yourself, you lazy prick."

"For fuck's sake, I'll get it," Albus said, smirking, gesturing for Scorpius to follow. "Come on, Malfoy, come give me a hand."

Scorpius was about to protest, but Albus gave him a look not unlike that of the glances his mother and grandmother had been giving his older brother all day, and Scorpius decided it was probably wisest to do as he was told.

Stocking up a tray with bottles from the kitchen, the two boys grabbed a handful of chocolates each, before turning round to return to the living room where a very raucous chorus of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" was now emanating from, when they heard the clock on the wall chime, three hands flicking to the home sign.

Scorpius barely had a chance to marvel at this odd piece of furniture before Albus exclaimed "Dad's back!" and skidded to the door, swinging it open and grinning. Until his grin fell and he swore.

"What?" Scorpius asked, moving round to peer over his shoulder. "Shit," he agreed, staring at the two men, the Minister for Magic, and a very limp form that they took to be that of Teddy's stumbling towards them, James's voice the only accompaniment.

"WE WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAAAAPPY NEW YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAR."

**Okay so it's ridiculously short considering it's taken me so long to post it. Believe it or not the majority was already written, I've only added on about thirty words since I last opened the document, but hey-ho. I promise I will try to post some more this year. **


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